Happy Birthday Mike!

The Epic Tale Of Mike Book XII: 

The Kaku Meteor

 As Taken from the Journal 

of the 

Omicron Dioces.

As transcribed by Errol Farr, Chris Strohmaier, and Jonathan Farr

Lo! Professor Mike with his hair and cheatdeath smile
Did receive from the stars a missive

Received in thought what he had sought
That loss was not permitted.

The sleeper then awoke inside

the mountcock built on science

"I will make the jump to Kaku's rock

Therein is my defiance!"

The Kaku atop his quantum sphere

beheld the mighty screams

and laughed down through the mortal clouds
at the city filled with cream

"Can you uncoil the dimensional beast

Or bring the stars to you?

Your world will be as dust to me

as Funyuns when you chew!"

Mike stepped to Kaku and said, 
"So you think you got us beat?

Kaku laughed as Mike looked for 
some meteoric eats

The Kaku staked Mike through and through

and saw that he was sly

he brushed back his silvery hair and spoke then in his pride

  

"McKasty if you want me gone 
and you to be king of the world
Then ride my ship of eleven sails
I want them all unfurled"

Mike said not a word but smiled

Without nary a plan

He then put on his buckyball shoes

and faced the wizened man

 "Before this shit gets live my friend

You've got us in a jam

But yo, hey wait look over there." 

With a dash Mike yelled out "BAM!"

And Mike said One! For the width of it

Two! for the length of it

Three! for the depth of my verse!

Four! as I step in time

Traversing with stupendous rhymes

The other seven just get worse!

Kaku held his hand
palm raised to stop McKasty's beats

And laid his own down on the boy
with buckyballin' feet

"You may have a grasp of a physics
so I guess you know my show

But the watching isn't gonna stop this rock
from hitting down below

You've got a great style and look at that smile

not to mention you're a bit loquacious

but let's see if that physics slam of yours 
can match my own equations

From earth could be heard a unison gasp 
That resounded to Mike's core

Then Kaku with his chalk in hand 
Went to his blackened board

He dropped derivatives balanced positives

With the twinkling of his negative eye

He drew from sine riding parabolla lines

That made the spheres cry

Mike watched it all and threw his dice 
At Kaku's square rooted "e"

Then laughed as what was now produced 
A singularity

The laugher stopped when Kaku barked 
"You fool! you've doomed them all!

The people screamed, Mike said "oh shit!" 
But Kaku didn't fall

He reached up as to pick some fruit

Or catch a bug in flight

And squeezed the black hole in his palm

Til it blinked out of sight

Mike looked around for what to do

His best tricks had been played

All hope seemed lost the earth was doomed

Impossible for him to get laid

Just then across the Kuiper belt 
A sight they were to meet

With golden ships and crystal sails 
Came the astro-elvish fleet

Their captain An-El'dil'ian'fur 
Caught Mike's befuddled gaze

And tossed to him a scroll of math
That brought Earth back into play...

To be continued next year...

Happy Birthday Mike!